Day 54

It does get easier, but it's not easy.
I'm not saying it's not hard.
Every day is so hard not giving in to my own stupidity.
But I see how much better I feel when I'm not hung over, sleeping on the bathroom floor, running into the wall (both litereally and figuratively).
I also see how much less likely I am to hurt those I love when I don't use.
Being more in control of my actions, I'm less likely to say and do things I'll regret later.
I still do anyway, but at least I remember it well enough to know how to apologize later.
All I can say is that I'm not perfect, and it's stilla daily battle, but with God's constant grace, I am getting through this, and I believe that there is recovery for me.

Day 40

Sometimes I think life is totally unfair.
I mean...why do bad things happen to totally great people?
I know that's a really common question...and one that is not easily answered.
Things never seem be balanced...people who work so hard for things never get them, while others who never work for the same ones get them instantly without ever trying--
I guess there is a more rewarding feeling in the journey...a sense of great joy when one finally recieves a miracle...When God finally blesses them..as opposed to a quick and instant gratification where one never knew the heartache that was possible.