Day 251

It will be 8 months since I've been sober on Thursday.
I should feel more...and I have these past few weeks...actually I have since the end of December.
Following Holidays I usually feel the bounce-back effect of the past...the things I can't control. The wave of emotion from the fear of things that MIGHT happen, and the disappointment of what has happened.
I'm a wreck from keeping up the front, and angry at not being protected. I get physically sick, mentally exhausted, spiritually drained, and emotionally spent.
I have learned how to put up boundaries around sensitive issues regarding my trauma...but sometimes things leak in...memories, poor timing, and passing conversation. I know I can't isolate myself, but the safety of a blanket and a kitten is always comforting :)
I've stepped out of myself, a huge leap---I got a sponsor and am starting at the beginning...I'll see how it goes...I can't promise results, but I can promise that I will try...each day to just be in the moment and be responsible for myself and my actions.