Day 87

It feels like I've been sober forever and yet like no time has passed at all.
At the meetings everyone talks about how all it takes is that first drink...
I know for me that is true.
I have that first drink...(or like a first chug) and I'm gone.
I don't know the meaning of moderation, with much of anything...I have always been an overzealous individual...
Never content with the middle of the road, I go wholly into whatever I do.
This comes in really handy when I work on a project, be it work or art...
But when it comes to something less practical, or potentially damaging, I end up flat on my ass after believing I could control my circumstances...
Control. Something I lack, yet so desparately desire. As a person with addiction control has been my ultimate dream but my eventual downfall.
I must give up control in order to truly obtain healing.